Your Homegirl: Hey Sis, are you down for happy hour after work today? It’s buy one, get one free at our little spot downtown.
You: Yessssssss, because life has me so stressed out right now.
Your Budget: Okay, sista, you think you need stress relief? I’m the one needing some relief! Have you put your eyeballs on me lately?
You (internally communicating with your budget): I got this. I know there is enough money in my budget for at least two drinks and an appetizer. I get paid in two days, anyway.
Homegirl: Okay, I’ll swing by at 8 O’Clock to get you.
Your Budget: O-kay, o-kay, go ahead, Ms. Two-drinks and an appetizer! When that card reads DE-clined, that’s on you! Honey, you do know it’s quite okay to say, “No.”
First of all, that budget was oh, so doing the most, and I have one thing to say, Yaassss, budget! Please, let the people know.
So here’s the thing, to be human is to be social, and yes, hanging out, chatting it up, nurturing relationships, laughing until you almost pee your pants, having a drink, Karaoking, and all the things can help relieve stress. However, the big BUT in the room is at what cost are you willing to indulge in activities or purchases, for that matter, if you are already financially strapped? Which leads me to this question. Can and how should you deliver the big N-O to an opportunity (not always social) that will dig deeper into empty pockets?
Let me help you get closer to an answer:
- 1-Large Margarita with Watermelon Pucker: $12
- ½ off Large Margarita (Happy Hour Special) $6
- 1-Appetizer: $9.69
Grand Total: $27.69 (before taxes)
Bank Account Balance before going to Happy Hour: $23.71 (overdrawn by $3.98)
Queue up the overdraft fee…a whopping $35.00
A stress-relief evening with your homegirl: ($62.69 not including taxes and tip). Can I also point out, the fees cost more than the experience!
Overdraft Fees at Common U.S. Banking Institutions
| Bank of America | We may charge an overdraft item fee of $35 per item over $1. Your Personal accounts can be charged a maximum of 4 overdraft item fees and returned item fees in a single day. |
| Capital One Bank | We will charge you a fee of $35 each time we pay an overdraft, up to four fees a day, and we will not charge a fee unless your account is overdrawn by $5 or more. |
| Chase Manhattan Bank | If we pay an item, we’ll charge you a $34 Insufficient Funds Fee per item. This fee is not charged if your account balance at the end of the business day is overdrawn by $5 or less or for items that are $5 or less. |
| Wells Fargo Bank | Our overdraft fee is $35 per item, whether the overdraft is by check, ATM withdrawal, debit card transaction, or other electronic means. You will be charged no more than three (3) overdraft and insufficient funds fees per day for Consumer accounts. |
To Be Social or Not To Be?
So, let me put this to bed, being social to relieve stress for someone in a financial entanglement is simply no Bueno. However, there is no need to enroll in Hermit University and become totally antisocial because your wallet isn’t playing fair. That’s unhealthy too. Instead, we will learn and practice ways to position ourselves to plan for your turn-ups or discover new ways to turn down a turn up in a way that leaves you feeling empowered.
Oh, here is a little secret, the more you do it, the more comfortable and confident you become at it. You will be like Oprah in this mug, “You get a NO!” and, “You get a NO!” all while your budget is in the background, giving you a “Hell, Yeah”!
Positing Yourself For The Turn-Ups
- Plan for opportunities to have entertainment in your monthly budget. You have to keep in mind; your basic needs always come before your wants. So, if you don’t quite have all your basics covered, your budget line for entertainment should be zero.
- Always stay within your planned entertainment budget.
- If you find yourself out of entertainment money before running out of month, find free or cheaper ways to socialize.
- Finally, if, in fact, you have exhausted all options, I need you to find your “NO” and don’t budge. If you can’t find that solid “NO” within yourself, do what works for you; your No might be an excuse disguised as a NO. However, you deliver it, stick to it.
4 Ways I Asserted My “No” & Stuck to My Budget
- I would like to; however, I didn’t write this expense in my budget for the month.
- I can’t go with you this time, but I will let you know when I can.
- No, can’t, but would you like to (insert low-cost, free option) instead.
- No! I can’t. I am working on getting out of debt and building wealth. (This was my go-to because it quickly got people off my back.)
You have to know; it is okay to say, NO. This means sometimes you will deny others, and sometimes it means saying no to your pretty little self as well. Because look, spending more money than you have and getting out of debt is like oil and water; they simply don’t mix. When you say no to what goes against the flow of your budget, at the same time, you are giving a cool head nod to a future with less stress and more wealth.
Believe me, when I tell you, this is only for a season at the end of the day. Keep betting on yourself and being true to your budget as well as your personal financial strategies and goals. You will eventually arrive at a time when having money will be your norm. And all those calculated denials of immediate gratification will make room for a consistent lifestyle of abundance.
Take The Challenge
I challenge you to make a “no, nope, nada” journal and record each opportunity to turn up you turned down. Include every item you were itching to purchase, but your budget and your plan gave you the side-eye, so you reneged. Document your emotions feels and regrets. I also want you to jot down those opportunities that should have been a “NO” but just couldn’t be passed up. Did it satisfy you? Would you say no to it if given a chance again? Finally, make an “I’m coming back for you” entry. A no now doesn’t mean it’s a forever no. Please write what you will go back for, and give yourself a goal date to make it happen, and when the time comes, get it, girl.
Well, keep your NO game strong until next time, my financially free friends!
